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Interruption, Temptation, & Rebellion
“Until death do us part” is the biggest promise broken by thousands of families struggling to make ends meet. Every divorce is a different situation that can cause certain behavioral changes. Although divorce is not only affecting the two people making the decision, it also affects close relatives, dear friends, and most importantly their children. Most would agree that next to death and a deceased loved one, divorce is quick to follow in the rankings of worst things to happen in one’s lifetime. Divorce affects teenagers the most, because the separation leads to an interruption of their adolescent development, applies mental, emotional, and social stress and pressure, and higher risks of outbursts, rage, and disobedience.
Teenagers already go through a stressful, hormonal stage without the unneeded pressure of a dividing household. Teenagers have a plateful: education, extracurricular activities, and/or part time jobs. They don’t need the excess weight of their parents’ marriage failing. The split of a family causes teens to react in all sorts of ways. Most tend to think of their own, independent needs, and wonder from the family dinner table more towards the beer pong table. Once the damage has been done, it takes years to repair. According to the Wallerstein Study, “Even 25 years after the divorce, these children continued to experience substantial expectations of failure, fear of loss, fear of change and fear of conflict” (Desai).
A huge problem divorce pushes on teenagers is the rate of their maturity. Once parents split, they have a lot more responsibilities on their shoulders whether that is to get a job to help out financially, more household chores, or looking after younger siblings becoming their new guardian in that house. The financial situation changes in the household after a separation downsizing to one income. The decrease of financial stability can decrease chances of quality standard living. “In many cases the financial pressure on one or both parents also results in longer work hours, less time with kids, and increased stress levels” (Hudson). Not only does divorce push financial stress, but emotional stress. Any divorce is not going to be easy on anybody, no matter what age. The emotional stresses applied can cause distance from the outer world triggering to depression or other behavioral disorders, increased risk of involving themselves in dangerous activities, and abate academic performance which could lead to dropping out of school.
Inside a teenagers brain, they put the puzzle pieces together that if their parents get to break commitment from the family, make their own rational decisions, and become a single, independent person, then so can teenagers. This leads to the increased risk of drugs, sexual activity, and alcohol consumption. “Teens from divorced homes are much more likely to engage in drug and alcohol use, as well as sexual intercourse than are those from intact families”(Desai). This only affects teens because they are more immature and likely to be drawn into the party lifestyle. Adults and children, younger than 12, are more prone to avoid the partying scene. Research has found that divorce causes teenagers to be more aggressive, more anxious, have higher high school dropout rates, more sexually active, higher rates of delinquency, and higher rates of drug and alcohol addiction (Hudson).
Long term relationships usually bloom in high school or college years. These adolescents who come from a dissolute family tend to follow the same pathways their parents have. “They're afraid of being in a committed relationship because they have seen the price of love and the pain it has caused their parents” (Philpott). Many teenagers start their journey to find the oen shaky and uneasy. They develop “symptoms” that get in the way of a good catch. “They can be very cautious and delay commitment for a long time in order to be sure, can keep relationships casual and superficial to avoid the necessity for commitment, can be very manipulative or controlling to ensure the other person will not leave, and they can enter a committed relationship armed with the belief that if it doesn't work out they can always break it off” (Pickhardt). They get noncommittal because teenagers with divorced parents aren’t used to the “togetherness” feeling; they’ve been programmed to believe that there are no happy endings. Although, their thoughts may be true according to the rising divorce rate. “About 40 to 50 percent of married couples in the United States divorce” (Marriage). Also, adolescents take time to settle down, they want to make sure they have found someone who won’t strand them like their parents once did. Lastly, young adults can be very manipulative, threatening divorce for their satisfying needs trumping their significant others. “Spouses who are both children of divorced parents are three times more likely to divorce” (Research). This generation of children coming from the divorced are trying to end the cycle of separation to save their own/future marriages.
Despite the tanking of their own relationships, more effects come in play for teenagers than any other age range. Although, the divorcees are the most effected they are also the most stable and aware of the happenings. Young adults don’t get that advantage. Divorce affects teenagers the most, because the separation leads to an interruption of their adolescent development, applies mental, emotional, and social stress and pressure, and higher risks of outbursts, rage, and disobedience. Vows are made daily followed by the sweet sound of a plane jetting off into the sunset for the couple of peaceful days before reality sets in. For further relationships, teenagers need to begin carrying out the true meaning of “until death do us part.”
Works Cited
Desai, Amy. "How Could Divorce Affect My Kids?" Focus on the Family. N.p., n.d. Web. 02 Feb. 2015.
Hudson, Chris. "The Impacts of Divorce on Teenagers." Understanding Teenagers Blog RSS. N.p., n.d. Web. 06 Feb. 2015.
Kirby, Jacqueline J., and Katherine Dean. "Family Life Month Packet 2002." Teens and Divorce: What Hurts and What Helps? N.p., n.d. Web. 05 Feb. 2015.
"Marriage and Divorce." Http://www.apa.org. N.p., n.d. Web. 02 Feb. 2015.
Philpott, Shannon. "Common Problems of Teenagers with Divorced Parents - Mom.me." Mom.me. N.p., n.d. Web. 06 Feb. 2015.
Pickhardt, Carl E. "Parental Divorce and Adolescents." Psychology Today. N.p., 30 Aug. 2009. Web. 06 Feb. 2015.
"Research Suggests Children of Divorce More Likely to End Their Own Marriages - University of Utah News Release: June 27th, 2005." Research Suggests Children of Divorce More Likely to End Their Own Marriages - University of Utah News Release: June 27th, 2005. N.p., n.d. Web. 09 Feb. 2015.